Self-regulation is a massive part of self-leadership, if not being one and the same thing in a different guise. All of us, each and every day, face many decisions that require a sense of regulation and consideration. Often, these decisions are relatively small; sometimes they have far-reaching implications. Our aim is thus to simply be the best self-regulator that we can manage.

What I am describing is called the dual-process model of human behaviour, and it is one of the more intuitive and, I believe, helpful of the many psychological theories out there. The two competing paths are impulsivity and deliberate behaviour, and they exist within us each moment and impact each decision we make. A simple example – knowing that an extra (or just one J) piece of delicious chocolate cake will negatively impact one’s diet, which do you choose? We all face these battles, and if only it were easy enough to follow our ‘plan’, we would all appear to have an iron will and strong determination. What has been discovered, which gives hope to this difficult situation, is that working memory capacity (WMC) greatly influences our ability to hold to considered decisions. Working memory is, essentially, “the mental workspace where important information is kept in a highly active state, available for a variety of other cognitive processes” (Fougnie, 2008).

A truly fascinating relationship exists between self-regulation and WMC. Hofmann et al (2008) have produced research regarding the effect WMC has on self-regulation – which is itself the relationship between automatic, learned responses and controlled, deliberate actions. They propose that greater WMC enables one to inhibit the flow of impulsive desire at the moment of action, and to hold closer to the deliberate plans one had made before the rush of impulse ensued (Hofmann et al, 2008). This ranges from decision-making with regards to food, to how people respond to threatening or frustrating situations. Essentially, the research conducted by Hofmann et al (2008) proposes that WM holds information of greater long-term importance on an accessible level while in the act of making a decision, something that has often been seen as a “virtuous characteristic”.

It has been noted that we can in fact develop this faculty (Berk, 2009), and the best ways to do it are focused attention and deliberate action – the very core benefits of meditation and mindfulness. While we are still unsure exactly how the processes unfold, as with many elements of cognition, we are beginning to see the bottom line with regards to what aids memory development and in turn what developing WM can do for us. It appears that if we can harness some of the benefits of training WM, we might just be able to aid people in being who they really want to be on a long term level by strengthening, essentially, their power of will.

The simplest and most hopeful of concepts that we can take from this? Attention, working memory and self-regulation are concepts that can be trained. Trained with a consistent effort and focus, as we find in meditation and mindfulness practices. Being even slightly more virtuous due to consistent effort of a matter of minutes and moments per day? I’ll take those odds!

Much love!
Dean

References:

Berk, L. (2009). Ch. 12 Moral development. In Child Development (9th edition) (pp. 566-605). Pearson Education Inc.

Fougnie, D. (2008). The Relationship between Attention and Working Memory, In Johansen, N. (Ed), New Research on Short-Term Memory. 1-45.

Hofmann, W., Gschewnder, T., Friese, M., Wiers, R. W. & Schmitt, M. (2008). Working Memory Capacity and Self-Regulatory Behavior: Toward an Individual Differences Perspective on Behavior Determination by Automatic Versus Controlled Processes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95, 4, 962-977.

For all the journeying through my own mind, the active effort that I put in to explore, discover and improve, I must say that I hoped to be further along by now. I am prone to the same old mistakes, as well as countless new ones with varying degrees of pain and hindrance involved. What I have gained in self-awareness has not always translated into better actions, wiser decisions or a kinder temperament. How then, or rather - why - is it, that I still devote so much of my time and energy to the art of meditation and the practice of mindfulness, if the proposed benefits are sometimes not apparent or even noticeably absent?

Having been fortunate to go through the ups and downs of early adulthood with meditation, mindfulness and philosophy as a companion, I have literally grown with my practice. It has fallen into the gaps as fear, anxiety and anguish have threatened, and it has sweetened the best of moments to an unimaginable degree. However, I remain an incredibly flawed, fragile and often unconscious person. I have predominantly approached my practice with the view of ‘getting better’, a filling of the cracks -  a sharpening of the mind and an exploration of the soul, with the hope to conquer each and every aspect of my being, to embody the self-leadership that is my passion. While I suspect that this combative approach has major drawbacks, it appears to be the way I am wired and I long ago made the decision to work within this framework.

You may imagine then, how excruciating it is when my most beloved tools appear to fail me in times of need. A drifting from presence, hindsight revealing extremely self-centred thinking or a complete lack of empathy and awareness hang over me like a thundercloud, almost mocking me. What then, have I been training for? Where are the fruits of my labour… were the hundreds of hours spent in contemplation all for nought? Do I even deserve to speak of concepts such as peace, tranquillity, honour and love?

Through all this doubt, and the attempt to pick a path, one aspect of my practice resonates with me beyond all else - no matter what, each breath and each new moment is a fresh chance to forge a path that may have, at another time, seemed utterly impossible. Sitting in meditation and watching thoughts come and go, one gets a sense of the present moment. The links we create to both the past and the future are merely strands of thought. If you speak the right words, these links can smoothly unravel, leaving you to face the present with strength and clarity. Essentially, the only thing keeping us from the fresh start that time itself so graciously provides, are the ties we create in our minds. Liberation of the highest order is attainable each moment, with one’s attention in the right place.

Suddenly, my mistakes seem less mocking, less abrasive. They are now memories I must learn from and improve upon. While the pain remains, I am able to face the present with a sense of purpose and possibility, and for that I will be forever grateful to my practice and my exploration. This then, is my hope for all that come into our sphere, even for the briefest of times –if all else is forgotten, we may remember that we start again each moment. Respect this, and honour it, and even the mountains we never thought could move will begin to crumble under the force of our will.

Much love,

Dean